Engaging in the ASDAH Commuity
We here at ASDAH often discuss what it means to be in right relationship with ourselves and with others inside and outside of our community. These community agreements outline how we can do just that when engaging in virtual and in-person ASDAH spaces.
This is An Accountable Space
This is not a safe space. It is impossible to ensure 100% safety in any space. This is not a brave space. Brave spaces put an undue burden on marginalized people. They do not account for the bravery marginalized people have to engage in everyday to survive. We cannot ensure safety. We do not expect bravery. We do expect accountability.
Engage in Conversation in a Way that Is Inclusive, Generative & Impactful
Be mindful of the space you take up in conversation. Are you used to just listening and participating from the sidelines? Maybe this is an opportunity to speak up. Are you used to dominating conversations and not letting others get a word in edgewise? Maybe this is an opportunity to pass the mic. Either way be mindful of how you contribute to the conversation and co-create a space where everyone who wants a chance to speak gets to do so. Listen to understand, not just to respond. Pause & reflect before responding. And most importantly, don’t be an asshole. If you wouldn’t say something directly to someone face-to-face, don’t type it or say it in a virtual space.
Embrace Conflict, Discomfort, Friction, Imperfection, Nuance & A Both/And Mentality
There are no perfect human beings. There is no perfect way of being, doing, and thinking. Often multiple conflicting things can be true at once. Embrace the imperfection, nuance, and multiple realities that are inherent to the human experience, knowing that conflict, discomfort, and friction may occur. These are all normal and healthy parts of an accountable space. They are signs that growth, learning and transformation are happening. Walking around on eggshells is not necessary.
No Racism, White Supremacy, Anti-Blackness, Anti-Fatness, Transphobia, Queer Antagonism, Ableism, Healthism, Ageism, Classism, or Other Forms of Oppression
In the words of Robert Jones, Jr., “We can disagree and still love each other unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist.” Any words or actions that are oppressive to others or deny their humanity will not be tolerated. Any hateful speech, degrading comments, or bullying is unacceptable. Expect to be called in and encouraged to hold yourself accountable.
Know That You Will Fuck Up
As stated before, there are no perfect human beings. We are all learning. Despite our intentions being good, we will mess up. When that happens, own your impact. Be open to correction. We repeat, expect to be called in and encouraged to hold yourself accountable.
Take Care of Yourself
This space is not therapy. Although it may feel therapeutic, this is not intended to be a therapeutic space or an alternative to therapy. In this space you are not only accountable to others, you are also accountable to yourself. It is your responsibility to manage your triggers, to understand the true source of your emotions, to avoid making projections, and to take care of yourself.
Stories Stay; Lessons Leave
Participating in this space requires mutual respect and trust. We encourage everyone to move at the speed of trust. We expect everyone to respect privacy and confidentiality. Please do not share personal stories, private & confidential information, and other information (i.e. webinar recordings) you hear/experience/witness that folks did not consent to share outside of this space. You may not share this information without prior consent or permission. With all that said, you may share the lessons that you learn in this space widely. Whenever you share, please give proper credit to those who facilitated your learning.
Privacy & Confidentiality Cannot Be Assured
Although we hope everyone operates with integrity, ASDAH and its leadership team cannot control or preempt the actions of every individual member or participant. Therefore we cannot guarantee privacy or confidentiality. Please act accordingly.
Commit to Self-Reflection & Action When You Leave This Space
The work does not end here. We encourage you to think about how what you learn impacts your daily life and what actionable steps you can take when you leave this space.
ASDAH does not necessarily share or endorse views shared by others in this space.